While I think it’s great seeing all the excitement and press coverage about India legalizing gay sex, I think it’s really important to remember that this is NOT India progressing due to Western influence. This is India decolonizing.
The homophobic statute that was overturned is a product of British colonialism in India. Prior to that, India had a rich and vibrant queer community that played important functions in society. There were queer Hindu gods and hijras serve as an example of how queerness in society was venerated. This is not something to patronize India over and congratulate ourselves in the West for. This is a victory for India reclaiming their culture.
Oh my god. If i see one more of these posts in my dash I will murder someone.
Okay, let’s see:
“The homophobic statute that was overturned is a product of British colonialism in India.”
True. Section 377 was implemented by British Raj in India, possibly as an effort to safeguard Victorian mores.
“Prior to that, India had a rich and vibrant queer community that played important functions in society.”
Can you please tell me what the “important functions in society” were, my dear fella? Contrary to tumblr’s belief, homophobia was not a western (or christian) invention. We were plenty homophobic on our own, thanks. Literally, the only acceptable ‘queerness’ in society was a laundebaaz (aka, one who does it to men/boys) whereas the gandu (aka the one who takes it up the ass) was considered the lowest of low in society. Even now, gandu is a derogatory word similar to faggot. Does that sound like “venerating queerness” to you dear?
Also, lesbians? LOL. What lesbians?? Funnily enough, even in “a society venerating queerness" lesbianism is practically unheard of. Furthermore, the ‘celebration of queerness” in these cultures is mostly male receiving partners being pushed to the margins of society.
But hey, why consider boring things like reality… when you can have Cool-Tumblr-Version-of-Queer-Feminist-Utopia-Before-the-Whiteys-Fucked-Everything-Up™
brand of history?
“There were queer Hindu gods and hijras serve as an example of how queerness in society was venerated”
Firstly, there “were queer Gods”? What happened to them? Did they die when colonialism happened? Did they go, “Ah… those dastardly British have set foot on India and are imposing their Victorian mores, perhaps we should pack up our bags and leave”? I might be a tad bit uninformed in my “queer Gods”, considering the fact that I was born into and practicing Hinduism since my birth and so has all my forefathers, but according to my knowledge those “Queer Gods” still remained in society. Yet, homophobia persisted. Heck, Sabarimala is one of the most pilgrimage sites (that has the son of ‘Queer Gods’ as the deity), and even now “youthful females” (i.e., women of ages from their first menstruation till menopause) are NOT ALLOWED TO ENTER.
Despite being the son of queer gods, Ayyappa still seems to be misogynistic as fuck.
Secondly, you might wanna brush up on those queer gods and legendary figures… almost in all of them one of the couple gets magically changed to other sex and begets a biological child. Biological procreation and production of progeny – it seems as if even the Gods have to perform and conform to heteronormativity.
I wish I got dollars for every time a White Ally™ misused or misrepresented hijras. Contrary to popular belief, hijras are not transexuals (at least not all of them). There are different types of hijras – those who were born hermaphrodites, those who castrate themselves and proclaim to be neither man nor woman, those who are homosexual men who crossdress, and those who are men who do not perform masculinity to society’s standards. They are literally gender non-conforming men : either their homosexuality is a deviancy that needed to be corrected; or their lack of assertion of heterosexuality was a mistake to be corrected, or they just liked “girly things” too much.
So, these “venerated positions” that they supposedly held was quite literally the only option left to them – they were kicked out of society and jobs. I know a lot of people on tumblr would say “but they were in kings’ courts and all”. Guess why? They were either entertainers (a part of the dance troupe) because that ‘girly’ job was seen apt for them. Generally, dancers were not seen in positive light.
They were considered at best as courtesans and at worst as prostitutes.
Even now, “attakari” (dancer) is a term used to say a woman is a slut.
Second option for them was as guards or companions (sahelis). This was to ensure “the purity of noble woman”. After all, when the “purity of the womb” is of the utmost importance, a king/noble wouldn’t even trust male guards with their women. Heck, there are even legends of gnc men being coerced into castration so as to make guards for ladies. That is why they were the guards of many noble’s harems – not because they were valued for their capabilities, but because they couldn’t “damage the property” (i.e., have penetrative sex with the royal’s women).
Nowadays, most of them cannot get a decent jobs, and literally have to beg in trains and buses to get food on their tables. Oh, this is also a part of the “veneration” : they have no livelihood, so they go and threaten people with curses (their otherness makes them freaky, and according to superstition gives them supernatural powers), so that people will donate some money in fear.
This is not including the young boys and men that were pushed into sex mafia and trafficking.
So, miss me with that “veneration” bullshit.
“This is not something to patronize India over and congratulate ourselves
in the West for. This is a victory for India reclaiming their culture.”
Do you know what I find patronising? White allys
who has read Buzzfeed articles on ‘hijras’ or ‘queerness’ somehow pretending to speak for us. Lauding us for our extremely open/feminist/queer Culture™
that they know of through exoticized magazines and power yoga videos.
I once read an essay on how Indian patriarchial system countered westernization (in an effort to prevent women from going outside their homes) by claiming that
while British might be materialistically more advanced than Indians, ~spiritually Indians are better than British~.
The same exotic bullshit is repackaged here, using liberal buzzwords to please tumblr crowd.
Even a cursory reading of any of the ‘third genders’ in various societies will tell you that it’s generally feminine or gay men being kicked out of manhood and forced into a marginalized and feminized role, and they are only sometimes accompanied on these margins by old or infertile women that no one wants to financially support. The best possible role seems to be some forms of spiritually-based celibacy, far too often its various forms of prostitution. Radfems aren’t using special sources for any of this info, just read the histories yourselves in a little more depth than a 100 word tumblr post.
Western liberals for some reason cannot seem to accept that brown men are just as shitty without colonialism
“Why should I have to prove I’m “trans enough” to get hrt,“
I dunno probably for the same reason you have to prove you’re depressed before you get anti-depressants or have to prove you have insuline deficiency before you get insuline shots.
it took more testing for me to get on ADD meds than it did hormones, one of which is out of my system in 24 hours and the other fucked up my body and left me with permanent changes that can only be somewhat reversed by medical interventions.
Can I be a little nosey and ask for details? Did you go through informed consent? Were you diagnosed with dysphoria? Are you detransitioning?
Sure. I was diagnosed with dysphoria by about three or four different therapists from the time I was about 15. When I finally decided to medically transition, I did go through informed consent, because I had moved somewhere that was too far from any official gender clinics by that time. While I absolutely could have gone to one of these places and gotten the approvals necessary, Planned Parenthood only required that I sign a document saying I was seeing a therapist (not even a gender specialist, just a therapist of any kind, by the way), sign a for form saying I understood the risks, take a quick blood test, and within two weeks of my official phone call to them, I had my first shot. They would have been able to give it to me the same day I signed the documents if I’d done the blood tests through a different doctor ahead of time and just given them the results. It was just as easy to get two doctors to sign off my on my top-surgery, which also kind of disturbs me in hindsight.
Unlike my need for ADD medication which, despite being told I fit most of the criteria for it, took several doctors to get taken seriously, multiple psychiatrists to try and schedule the test only to be told they didn’t think I needed it because I was getting decent enough grades in school, and then several months of waiting once a psychiatrist DID take me seriously in order to get the test and finally get on the medication. I then had to sign a bunch of forms and wait an extra session afterward to make sure that I fully understood the risks of stimulants before my psychiatrist was finally allowed to put in the prescription for my medication.
I am detransitioning now; my transition ultimately didn’t help my dysphoria much and I was having pretty bad medical side effects from long term testosterone use, so I didn’t want to continue to harm my body when it wasn’t helping. Kind of like how my depression isn’t helped by any known depression medications well enough for me to suffer through the side effects I get from them, so I choose to find alternate means to manage both.
If you’ve got more questions, I’m happy to answer them. I agree with your original post btw in case it comes across like I don’t somehow – I think it’s messed up that you already have to not prove your “trans enough” to transition, given that even people who do go through all those hoops can still have regrets (albeit in much smaller percentages; I admit I’m an anomaly), and I can only imagine how much higher those regrets are in people who go on HRT and were never properly diagnosed at all.
I want every woman and girl of any sexuality to know that there really is a difference between wanting to have sex with a man because you enjoy the sex itself, and wanting to have sex with a man because of non-sexual benefits you might receive from putting out, or even the avoidance of punishment.
If you have looked at your attraction and are 100% convinced that you really do want to have sex with a man because you enjoy sex with men and find them sexually attractive, then go for it. There’s no shame in a healthy sexuality. Just be safe about it.
However, if you want to have sex with a man because
- You feel like you are doing a good deed
- You feel selfless and thus feel better about your own self image
- You get the non-sexual intimacy and attention you crave from a partner after sex
- You will receive gifts of monetary value you want or need after sex
- You feel like sex is expected of you
- You feel like it will be awkward or strained if you don’t have sex
- You feel you have gone too far to refuse sex at this point
- You feel he should have access to your body whenever he wants
- Your boyfriend/husband will be less kind, compassionate, or loving without sex
- You believe he will be in great pain or dismay if you don’t have sex with him
- You believe denying him access to your body to be cruel to him
- You will be punished if you do not have sex
- You will be hurt (mentally or physically) by him if you don’t have enough sex
- You are hurt (mentally or physically) by sex, and enjoy being hurt
- You are hurt by sex and believe you are bad and deserve pain
Then you need to realize that what you want is either protection, affection, or emotional stability, not sex. You are having this sex because you believe on some level that sex with a man will work as a means to that end, not because you actually want the sex itself. All of these things are NOT genuine attraction or a genuine sexual desire. Please, if you resonate with any of the above sentiments around having sex with a man, and it is safe for you to refuse, do not have sex with him. I promise you will be infinitely better off, and there are ways of getting what you actually want that do not involve putting out for a man.
If you resonate at all with any of the sentiments of being punished or hurt for not having sex, or being made to feel like you are punishing/hurting him by refusing sex at any point, dump his ass and run for the hills (assuming its safe for you to leave. It very well might not be). Cut him out of your life and never look back. Don’t hang out with him, don’t talk to him, don’t hang around his close social circles. Get his toxic & abusive behavior far away from yourself before its too late. This is the greatest act of self-care you can practice, however difficult it may be.
God, sorry about this petty as fuck post, but people who hate detransitioned/reconciled/reidentified/whatever women on This Website always ascribe the most W I L D!!!!! misinterpretations and leaps to what we talk about. I’ve seen like 3 different people in the last two days say that “detrans women always talk about their transition as some kind of Whoopsie or Misadventure!” and I’m just like can you not fucking read? Have you literally ever actually seen a detrans woman not take transition seriously… It is normal for women to talk about their perceptions of Their Own Lives. I also just saw someone going off about the concept of “coming home” (I wonder who this might have been about?) as like inherently framing other peoples journeys as leaving home. No offense but fuck off it feels healing to use that framework and not everything’s about you.
Then again this is what happens when you “block and stay safe,” you have No Idea what the people you’re talking about actually feel.
it’s just so fucking horrifying that like. conversion therapy is still legal. it’s still a thing. people are paying monsters to harm, abuse, and psychologically (and physically) torture their gay children for being same sex attracted.
do you know what adversion therapy is? a conversion therapist will show a gay person an image of two people of the same sex kissing or touching, and then physically harm them (or have the patient harm themself) so that their brain will associate same sex acts with pain.
do you think that when they do this, they show images of PiV? do you think they punish gay people for being aroused by the opposite sex who have the same Gender Feels? or reward them for being aroused by images of two people of the same sex but with Different Genders™?
we’re LITERALLY tortured for being gay. literally. and you want to do the same fucking things to us. you want to threaten and scare and harass us every time we talk about same sex attraction until we associate it with pain and fear and isolation.
you’re monsters, just like they are.
So, let’s talk for a moment about mammoplasty – I’ve had a reduction done, back in my teens. (I was big enough that not only did my family’s insurance cover the whole cost, but I was able to have it done that early. (And I still have shoulder and back problems)
Anyway, I HATE the casual way people talk about “top surgery” because it’s a major surgery with actual potential to fuck up your life.
1. Scarring. You will have scars. If you are lucky, you will have relatively thin smooth scars. If your stitches don’t “take” correctly, you will have ropy scars possibly as thick as your pinky. Or worse. It happens.
2. Numbness. Scar tissue is not sensitive. Nor is skin not connected to the underlying nerves. But even talking about it as numbness isn’t really sufficient. You’ve been to the dentist before, no doubt, and gotten a numbing shot. Ever felt like your cheek was itchy and tried to scratch it, only to find out that it doesn’t work if your mouth is numb? Now, imagine that feeling over a quarter of your chest and the numbness never wears off. Fun times.
3. Speaking of itching, I can guarantee your stitches will itch like nobody’s business but if you scratch, you are inviting thicker ropy scars. Just think of it as training for a lifetime of itches that can’t be scratched.
4. While my breasts are still smaller than they were pre-surgery, they’re not small. They can grow back.
5. I went into shock on the surgical table. This is major surgery, people.
6. It took months to heal afterwards. I was literally sleeping 16 hours a day for months afterwards. Getting my energy back was *hard*.
I see people talking casually about both breast reduction and double mastectomy as though it’s only slightly more involved than a Botox injection or something. I don’t regret my surgery. As I noted above, even with it, I still have problems with my spine. But I think going in with unrealistic expectations is a recipe for regret later.
This post is going around again, so I’m going to add some more. Because I’ve been open about having had a reduction, many women have discussed either wanting one or else their mastectomy. And I’m willing to discuss this with anyone, regardless of gender identity, who is considering reduction or mastectomy. (My inbox is open)
A dear and beloved friend of mine since childhood was diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer and was treated by a double mastectomy. She survived. One day when we were both visiting my parents, she asked if she could show me her scars and ask some questions. Of course I said yes and showed her my scars as well – both the smooth and the places that got a little messed up. When I talked about the unscratchable itch, she commented that it was driving her nuts. She also commented that nobody had even discussed with her the changes she could expect in how her body worked. The only bit they discussed with her was the possibility of later doing cosmetic work in order to restore some natural appearance – perhaps a tattoo where the nipple and areola would be. Which she rejected.
We deserve to have the realities of our bodies discussed with us, not just the aesthetics. Our bodies exist for us to live in, not merely as decorative accessories for everyone else.
Our bodies are to live in, to feel, to house our life, not just a visual for others. Well said
Here’s a reminder that trans people deserve jobs, homes, and a safe walk home. I know that many in the radfem can let their hatred for modern trans activism spill over into hatred for trans people, but let’s remember that these people are human and deserve basic rights.
straight parents send their daughters to conversion therapy for not liking dick, and their sons to conversion therapy for not liking vagina. this is, rightfully, looked upon as unethical and doomed to failure. yet, in current liberal circles, calling women who don’t like dick/men who don’t like vagina bigots and encouraging or downright threatening them to change their innate preference is considered progressive.
i can no longer tell the difference between straight people and liberals. both are wildly homophobic and both think they are morally right to say and do what they do to gay people.
How do you currently advocate for women with health issues? Intersex disorders fit better into the category of disability and chronic illness activism than anything having to do with gender and sexuality under the LGBT. How do you currently address the lack of research and treatment options for female-specific medical conditions like PCOS and endometriosis? Same principle applies here. Call out the non-intersex nonbinary activists using intersex disorders to argue a third gender marker on government IDs but support the current legislative efforts to ban Intersex Genital Mutilation. (Remember sex isn’t assigned to infants as a “best guess” but rather to fulfill gender stereotypes related to male virility.) Consider the warnings from detransitioned women and intersex females before giving any positive attention to puberty blockers, HRT, or genital surgeries as an option “for those who really want it”. Even now the final results of vaginoplasties sacrifice functionality and sexual sensation over how well it can accommodate a penis. Supporting us requires accepting uncomfortable truths. Having XY chromosomes makes someone a genetic male. Understanding the difference between phenotype and genotype is important to respecting the manifestations of our disorders. (Please check out @star-mut‘s blog if you haven’t already.) Another uncomfortable truth: sometimes the distance between phenotype and genotype matters, particularly when it comes to XY PAIS athletes who might not have a place in a women’s division.
This is a broad question I brought to the attention of our intersex discord for alternate perspectives, thank @radfemflareon for giving such a thoughtful response.
Intersex females don’t have a remarkably different experience than other biological females. Being short and starting puberty early are two symptoms of simple CAH and NCAH. We’re not different than other infertile women or women with hystectomies or postmenopausal women or any of the other groups more recently targeted for exclusion by postmodern feminists. And when we are, don’t be afraid to navigate those differences. Sex blindnesses won’t help feminist aims.
A lot of you may have a similar question to the asker, whether or not you’ve consciously thought it, so here’s our really in-depth thoughts on it from the intersex Discord.
This is not my Europe, these are not my leaders.
Europe is pretty but it’s somewhere to visit not to live
This is so repulsive. So now child abuse and pedophilia is okay in the name of “political correctness”. Sickening.
Last month in Germany.
>”[…] the judge openly and completely uncritically quoted sharia law, applying it directly to this case. Therefore ‘only a marriage of a Muslim woman to a non-Muslim is void,’ in the judge’s own words, because Islamic law forbids this.”
That’s it. We are officially importing a foreign culture with all it’s customs and laws intact, with complete disregard to any of our own laws. Our own human rights laws and children’s rights are void. Everyone gets to tell the court which foreign laws they would like to be judged by. I’d like to call upon the most free American gun laws, please. Oh, wait? What? Natives are still to be judged according to European laws? B-but isn’t that discrimination? Oh, saying that I don’t agree with barbaric laws is racist? Ok, sorry :((((
No, seriously. Isn’t there a law that marks a judge acting upon a foreign law, and against it’s own laws, a traitor? Can’t you Germans get together and sue her for this, get her fired and in jail? Send a message? Germans, this judge needs to be dragged from her home and lynched. Are you really going to sit by and watch children married off to old pedophiles like it’s “totally cool, just be tolerant, man” ?
what the fuck germany?? nah not only nazis now we also importing the child-bride- culture?????? i hate everyone (well, every man)
MEN ARE A GODDAMNED DISEASE.
Fucking pedophile trash. Men are fucked up beyond the realm of fucked up. There is no fixing them, just throw out the entire sex.
So the eu is for kid rape and enslavement.